Silly old Russia

In my few months here in Moscow, I have come across many strange Russian phrases. However, there are two special ones that when I hear, I can't help but chuckle to myself.

1.) Вот это вот (vote eh-tuh vote, trans. "there it is"). I'm sure all of my fellow Russian-as-a-foreign-language-learners are just as confused by this phrase as I am. My problem? Well, let's break the phrase down (or at least I'll try and use my shaky understanding of idiomatic Russian phrases to display why I'm confused. Well, really just amused, because I know what it means). First, вот: on it's own, "вот" already means "there it is". For example, I misplace the lid to the water bottle in the kitchen and ask my host mom if she knows where it is. When she finds it, she would most likely say, "Вот!", "There it is!" Next, вот это: most of the time "вот это" means "this one", but even in English you can sometimes use "this one" and "there is is" interchangeable. For example, I'm standing in the mall with my friend and she asks me which store I bought my boots in. I point to it and say, "Вот это!", or "This one!" However, if at first I don't see it and I look around for a minute before I find it, when I point and say, "Вот это!", you could translate it as either, "This one!" or "There it is!" And, lastly, as I've already pointed out, "вот это вот" also means "there it is". For example, I'm in class doing a grammar exercise and I make a stupid mistake. The teacher looks over the exercise, asks me to correct it, and then looks over it again. If I've done it right the second time, she'll say, "Вот это вот!", or "There it is!" (the correct answer). But she could also just say, "Вот!", still meaning "There it is!" So, now you're starting to understand my issue. I was explaining to my friend Robert last night how amused I am by this phrase, and said he had never heard it before and didn't know what it meant. Before I had the chance to explain, his Russian girlfriend defined it simply as "Вот!" and laughs at it with me. It just adds to the ridiculousness of it all, when a Russian can even point out the exact thing I find so amusing. I think that when I can finally use "вот это вот" naturally, I will have mastered the Russian language. It just sounds so stupid when I say it.

2.) Очень не плохой (oh-chen knee plah-hoi, trans good). This one is just all-around amusing. First, "плохой" means "bad", the adjective. "Не плохой" means "not bad", just like in English. And "очень" means "very". Knowing all these things you might assume when they're put together they'll be something like "not very bad", which, to me, means something is actually worse than "not bad". For example, in response to te question "How's your soup?", "Not bad." means pretty good, while "Not very bad." means just a little bad, but not VERY. This is not the case in Russian. So, then we try to translate word-for-word, hoping for a better approximation: "very not bad". You have to admit that it's kind of amusing to think that Russians walk around saying things are "very not bad". Go ahead, laugh a little. But, it doesn't sound funny in Russian. (I know, I'm disappointed too.) It turns out it's just this really weird way of saying "good". It's like Russians can't bring themselves to call something good, which, let's face it, seems to go against the whole Russian mentality. So I guess it kind of makes sense that they would have to come up with something that means good, but still uses the word bad. :-) Gotta love 'em!

Along the same lines, here's a story my grammar teacher told us on Wednesday to display how Russians aren't even phased by something that is actually bad. ("Everything is bad, so why should I be surprised?") She had to wait a long time for a metro car at a really busy metro station, and when a train finally came, there were so many people that she couldn't get on. So, she's still standing on the platform waiting for a train when all of the sudden there's a loud explosion from the tunnel the last train left down. Everyone leans forward and looks, but nothing can be seen: no fire, no smoke, no nothing. No one came over the loudspeaker and said anything, so when the next train pulls up, everyone gets on and they head down the tunnel. All of the sudden the train comes to a sharp stop, so quickly, in fact, that the people that were standing and not holding on that tightly fell right over. It started getting hot and people opened the little windows to let some fresh air in. However, the car started filling with thick, white smoke. Apparently the smoke smelled horrible and people were breathing through scarves or sweaters. And everyone was completely silent. The conductor said nothing. They just stood and waited. The smoke was getting thicker and thicker, and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. But what could they do? Where could they go? Finally, just as the woman next to my teacher said, "I think I'm going to faint!", the train started moving. They got to the next station, everyone had to get off, and that was that. The question in her mind then was, "What happened? What caused this?" Apparently, it was just some sort of tube that exploded and they fixed it right away. However, later on, she realized that this was not the most important question she should be asking. What she should have been wondering was why everyone got on the train after they heard the explosion in the tunnel! As soon as she said this, I immediately realized that I hadn't even thought about that! Of course, that's the first thing I would have thought 4 months ago if I heard this story! Oh, Russia, what have you done to me?? :-)

To wrap up the Russia discussion for today, I have chosen something my conversation partner, Misha, told me. He works for the State Television and Radio Company, in the online news department. So, he researches and writes articles, recently pretty much only on the State Duma elections (Russian version of the House of Representatives). The company, as you probably could tell from it's name, is state-owned, the state being almost single-handedly controlled by the party Единая Россия (ye-deen-a-ya rah-see-ya, trans. United Russia). Well, apparently the people who work in this specific department aren't that keen on the party in power, and Misha even wrote something mocking them in one of his articles. Apparently, United Russia didn't like this very much and let them know that the party would no longer be giving them interviews, and that if this happened again, their department would be shut down completely. Now that's democracy for you! I guess, unlike most people, Putin doesn't love the sweet smell of freedom of the press in the morning. :-) All hail United Russia!

Now on to more fun, exciting, vacation things! My friend who I'm traveling with, Shannon, and I have started finalizing plans. It looks like this will be the agenda, give or take a few cities:

Barcelona, Spain

Lisbon, Portugal

London, England

---Meet Shannon---

Brussels, Belgium

Amsterdam, Netherlands

Copenhagen, Denmark

Malmo, Sweden

Krakow, Poland

Prague, Czech Republic

Vienna, Austria

Bratislava, Slovakia

Budapest, Hungary

Ljubljana, Slovenia

Zagreb, Croatia

Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina

Belgrade, Serbia

Brasov, Romania

Bucharest, Romania

Sofia, Bulgaria

Istanbul, Turkey

St. Petersburg, Russia

I leave Moscow on the 15th of December and get back on the 1st of February. It's going to be an awesome 6 weeks. I can't wait!

Let me know if you have a preference as to what city (cities) you receive a postcard from! :-)