Last Bit of Moscow

The night before I left, my host mom came home kind of late and asked me to start some pasta while she walked the dog. She made a salad when she got back and then went to change her clothes before dinner. I was thinking, "Pasta and salad? This is not a normal Ludmila Petrovna meal." When she got back, she went to the cupboard and got something out: a giant bucket of KFC chicken! :-D She said that she wanted to enjoy something special with me before I went back to America. (Usually she cooks some sort of meat herself, but buying meat already cooked is definitely special.)

Then we sat and talked for a really long time. We mostly talked about my time in Moscow. What did I like? What didn't I like? What do I remember suprising me the most when I got here? Did I like staying with her? And so on. She's really great. I love her.

The next day when my taxi came, she was so sweet. A hug, a kiss, a tear, and her telling me to come back soon really made it difficult not to just start bawling.

I'm going to miss her so much! I'm going to miss all of Moscow so much! It really started to feel like home. I was sitting in my room packing and I closed my eyes, picturing myself back home. I pictured myself opening my suitcase, putting things away in my closet, putting books on the shelves, making my bed--and then I realized that I was picturing myself back in my room at Ludmila Petrovna's! The one I was sitting in, packing my stuff up in! That's how much I really felt at home there. I really, really am going to miss it.

Right now I'm sitting in an internet place in Bologna, Italy, during my 24-hour layover. I really don't know how I feel about going back to America. I was so excited about it for so long, but when the time came to leave Moscow, I really didn't want to go. Now I'm in this middleground, this waiting place, and I'm really confused. I don't know where I belong anymore. America? Or Russia? Maybe it will come to me once I'm actually back home. Or at least I hope so...